Your exchange of vows part of any ceremony is the one moment that brings all the feelings. Sometimes not always positive ones. Maybe you’re a little anxious about speaking in public or know what you’d like to say but feel you’ll be overcome with emotion and won’t be able to get those precious words out.

It’s normal to feel like this, to feel a little overwhelmed by the beauty of the moment and even in preparation for writing your vows, struggle to know what you’d like to speak.

This is one of the greatest acts of unity. Don’t feel like you’re on your own here. Speak with your partner about how you are feeling and then decide together on how comfortable you both feel about exchanging vows. As your celebrant, I will always champion you to consider writing your personal vows, but it isn’t right for everyone, so definitely consider if this is for you.

Ok, brave ones, this is how to manage those on the day nerves

Sam and Katy Captured by Chelsea Cannar Photography

Ahead of your ceremony, read your vows out loud and practice breathing. Building in natural pauses and speaking much slower will help you. Take a moment to gather yourself and take a little break between the lines if you need to. You don’t have to remember them word for word. In fact, I would always recommend having a copy in your hand, even if you do know them that well. Having something in your hand is very grounding.

Look after yourself on the day of your wedding. Make sure you eat and hydrate, and however tempting it is, take it easy on the booze until post-ceremony celebrations. Have tissues at hand, always cotton ones, so they don’t get stuck to your face and water nearby.

Forget about everyone else. This isn’t a speech or performance you don’t need to entertain. Keep it sincere and in line with your personality style, so you don’t put any extra pressure on yourself to add dramatic effects.

Don’t overthink it. It’s a big deal for sure to do this. Feel the excitement. Manifest the moment and think about your smiling faces.

If it feels too much, write what you’d like to say and give those words to each other outside of the ceremony. Maybe seal them in an anniversary box to open one year on. You can still have a beautiful exchange of words where I can write vows that feel like you that I will ask you to promise as you reply with the iconic words I do.

As your celebrant, the storytelling and energy that leads you into your vows will be orchestrated to create the mood you want to experience, so you feel really happy, relaxed and ready. I’ll be here to guide your ideas and be a sounding board for your vows, especially if you decide to keep them as a surprise to hear for the first time in the ceremony.

My guidance for writing your vows can be found here